Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
