He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
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I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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