I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
