We're like a lot better than the average bears
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
