In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize