Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
