we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
