I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
