When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
