She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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