you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We had to coat check the pizza.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
