I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
