sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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