I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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