i think my tv is drunk
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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