I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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