I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
