I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
