i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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