she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
