The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
