they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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