I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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