I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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