don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
