I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Bring me that man meat
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
