what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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