a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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