She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
