PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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