my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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