I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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