i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize