just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize