seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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