yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
