I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
