3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
