we have pet lesbian snakes
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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