So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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