My brain says no but my pants say off.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
