Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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