the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
