We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
