When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
