Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize