its not stalking. its research.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
