Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
