She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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