what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
