Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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