Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize