Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
