I'm gonna have a badass scar
Screwed.edu
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
