id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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