i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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