Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Randomize
