I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize