I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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