Non-Jews are for practice
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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