Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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