Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
