you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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