I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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