Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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