Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
