you guys were way drunker than both of me
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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