Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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