well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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